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Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:21 am
by JohnnyBlood
Zorgborg242 wrote:So besides the story being cliche,is it worth continuing? :?:

just the beginning. I'm curious where your going with it.

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:59 am
by Zorgborg242
Chapter 3: Cavius
Ship PA: Approaching Ravian System,moon Cavius..

I remember the first time I saw the star system...So beautiful...Cavius was orbiting a huge gas giant,Ravian-B I think,the gas giant was mostly made of hydrogen,oxygen,and methane...The interesting part about it though was that the Gas giant was covered in water,because of the hydrogen and oxygen combination..

PA: Approaching Destination,Asking for docking Permission...

When we landed on the Grey dark surface,I was amazed to see glowing crystals,planet cracking Robots,and Ultron Industrial Factories and mines...

David: Amazing...

Unknown: Yes it is David.

*David turns around to see a man,5 feet tall and 7 inches with a heavy mustache*

David: And you are?..

Blorus: My name is Blorus,Ultron Industry manager and administrator of Cavius.

Blorus seemed like a nice guy,he wasn't exactly human,with his Bionic eye and Bionic Arm.He must have gotten into a pretty bad accident...

David: Nice to meet you Blorus,where do I start?

Blorus: Well first we will equip you,with a Ultron J.A.G.G.E.R suit,and a Ultron A.I.Just put on the suit,and plug the A.I chip in the slot in the back of your head.

*Puts on suit* *Plugs in Chip*
Hellen: Hello my name is Hellen,i am a artificial intelligence designed to aid in helping humans,I am at your service.

David: Sweet! They didn't say I could have my very own A.I!

Hellen had a warm voice,it was like she was actually a human...just like me...I wondered who created her personality,I mean "its personality"....

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:33 pm
by Zorgborg242
Chapter 4: Inside of my head

Unknown: David do you really want to destroy humans?

David: Who are you?..I was just on Cavius...And who said I wanted to destroy humans?

David thought he was in a dream,mind jacked,or even worse...Dead...He didn't know what the voice was talking about,nor did he want to know...

Unknown: Your future and your past combined David...Universe's shredding apart...Time is very distorted these days David...

David: OK,what the F*ck are you talking about...I'm just a freaking Employee at Ultron Corp,I have never had thoughts on destroying any friendly life form on earth or anywhere else!

Unknown: Are you sure David? Even though you say that you don't hate humans,how do know?How do you know you actually exist?

David: Well for one thing I'm speaking and I know every word I'm going to say...

Unknown: Face it David,you don't know anything,You can't prove you exist,you can't prove anything exists.Isnt it weird that you live on giant balls of Rock? Isnt it weird your sun is a ball a flames?Why are they balls?Because of gravity you might say...Well why does gravity exist huh?Tell me that...*Laughs*

David: ....

David was extremely confused.He knew everything the strange man said was true,but he couldn't accept it.It sadden him deeply knowing that there was a possibility of everything he once knew and loved illusion....


Unknown: You know it's true David...You know it's true....*Laughs while disappearing into white nothingness*

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:26 pm
by Zorgborg242
So with the recent release of the two chapters of Cavius,any reviews,recommendations,or mistakes that you guys want to point out?

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:31 pm
by JohnnyBlood
thats some crazy ass matrix shit right there.

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:41 pm
by Zorgborg242
JohnnyBlood wrote:thats some crazy ass matrix shit right there.

Is your brain melting yet? :)

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 8:09 pm
by JohnnyBlood
Zorgborg242 wrote:Is your brain melting yet? :)

no. I'm too jaded to care about life's great mysteries

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 8:24 pm
by Zorgborg242
Well there's more of that crazy stuff coming in the next chapters. :)

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 8:53 pm
by Zorgborg242
Well i left off on a good cliff hanger...I dont think chapter 5 will be coming out in awhile...the story kind of became forgotten overtime as the new gaming generation came out.Who knows maybe i will work on the story a little bit more in the future.But for now it will become a dusty old book,lost in time...

Re: Cavius:The Unknown

PostPosted: Mon Dec 23, 2013 1:23 pm
by Zorgborg242
Chapter 5: Risen

David: Damn... My head hurts like Hell....

When David woke up from his horrific dream he found himself in a Bleak,Dull world...

David: Where am I? Hellen! Idenify Surroundings!

Hellen: Galaxy:Unknown, Star System:Unknown,Planet:Unknown,Sorry David My Global positioning system does not work here...

David: Damn! I think I just noticed something...If your here and I'm here too then....

Hellen: David?

David: Hellen! Check my brain signitures...

Hellen: Alright David....*Beeps* Brain waves normal your perfectly healthy.

David: Sh*t that means....I'm not dreaming....This Is all real....

David was confused he didn't know what was real or not...He thought these Horrific events would stop happening...He thought they were just Medical Problems...Him going Insane....

*David takes a deep Breath*

David: Ok ny only chance of getting out of here is trying to explore this planet...Try to Identify any Structure or Creature of some Sort Hellen...

Hellen: I will David.

Hours had passed from when david woke up.David was just drifting the White,dull Planet...What was even more strange was that it seemed Timed had no meaning in the planet...It seemed neither Seconds or hours Passed...David also never seemed to Grow hungry or thristy...

Hellen: Man Made Structure Spotted David! North of your Position!

The structure had a very strange architecture....Slanted so far down,it defyed the laws of physics,Seeing as it was made of carved granite with no Obvious Supports of any kind....

David: Finally! We have a Chance of getting out of this Hell!

*Runs towards the Alien Structure*

When they went inside the structure, they found a alter of somekind with a glowing crystal on top of it.The crystal itself defyed Gravity...No Gravpad under just a normal Granite alter....

David: What the hell is this?....

Hellen: Scanning....Crystal Sphere...Unknown Material...

*David Touches the Sphere*

David: AHRGGH!!

*David feels extreme Pain*

Hellen: David! Im injecting RactoJecters into your Blood Stream! they should Help Combat the Pain!


*David Starts to see Visions of his Past and unknown Clips of himself im a mysterous place*

Unknown Voice: Davvvvvvid....Davviddd...Come with us David....Stay with us David.....


Hellen: David The RactoJecters are not working!!!

Mysterous Mans Voice: We Meet Again David.....


Mysterous Man: You will Know Soon David.....

David: Please....Stop...This....

*David Blacks Out*